How To Be Happy

What is happiness? 

There are all these studies about how to be happy.

Get sunlight right in the morning.

Walk, sauna, take an ice bath or a cold shower. 

Eat healthy and sleep enough. 

Ok, all those things are easy enough to do when you are already happy. 

But what about when you are starting from the pit of the beast? 

You’re so far below happiness you’re in a deep black unknown to most.

What do you do then?

Going for a walk still applies. If you can manage it

Taking a shower is always a good step. 

I think these happiness studies overlook this dark depth. 

They focus on science but what about spirituality?

How can you change your mindset when you can’t change your mindset?

Finding a way to tap back into yourself is crucial.

But I barely remember who I was or recognize her.

Ok so, be a better version of your old self.

But she was pretty great. 

But she fell down this dark hole so she must not have been that great.

Meditation music is all I play these days and yet I love music. 

Music has carried me through some of my darkest days but here in this deeper dark hole, I don’t even want it. 

It’s not that I don’t want it, it’s that it doesn’t apply to this darkness. 

This isn’t a break up.

This is grief. 

But not typical grief, either. 

Part of what makes this so unbelievably hard. 

And it is unbelievable because no one believes me. 

Part of what I have been leaning on was this trip. 

These interactions with my friends and family would have filled up my cup for months, maybe longer. 

They were ripped from me. So suddenly.

While at the same time, I had a whole handful of negative interactions with people I never even wanted to see. 

It’s a very complicated thing to process. 

And there’s nothing I can do about any of it. 

So what do I do now?

How do I become happy?

One day at a time I guess. 

One bath at a time. 

One cup of coffee. 

I could continue listing off these small things, but the important part is that it is the small things. 

It’s the small things everyday that matter. 

It all adds up. 

So if you’re stuck in this deep dark unknown, do one small thing for yourself everyday.

Doesn’t matter what it is. 

A cup of coffee.

A bath. 

You will get there. 

Happiness is just one state of being, but that doesn’t make it the best state. 

We shouldn’t be striving to be happy every second or every day. 

We should strive to stay alive. 

To live in peace with ourselves. 

To remember these moments of being human. 

With any luck, maybe this is our last time being human. 

What do you want to do with it?